That meme about the thing on your immediate left being your only weapon available in a zombie apocalypse just landed back in my mailbox (what can I say, I have family that like to forward everything in sight, thank god I don't facebook).
On my immediate left is a lazy cat and a cushion, so I'd pretty much be out of luck.
BUT: If the zombies approach from the right, they may well be crushed by the teetering pile of books I am building a tower with there! So I survive after all!
Alternatively I can strangle them with my headphone cable.
So what's on your side table nearest horizontal surface? And could you kill a zombie with it?